Tucson Holistic Counseling

Yesterday we talked about self-confidence. Something I have noticed with people who lack confidence or positive esteem is they are unable to take complements. A simple to thank a person for a compliment can go a long way, yet it is amazing when you consider that most of us are not very good at accepting compliments, and often answer compliments by selling ourselves short. 

"That’s a  great outfit you’re wearing!"
"Really? I think it makes me look fat."
"I love your hair today."
"Really I think it looks awful. I hate it!" 

By doing this, we give the message that the person who made the compliment is being insincere or that he doesn’t really know what he’s talking about.  Try these steps so you can feel better about taking a nice complement.

Steps

1. Do not shrink back, and act timid.
2. Thank them, possibly return a compliment.
3. If they compliment your clothes or shoes don’t say "Oh, this old thing?" as it is rude, if they truly think it is nice.
4. If they compliment your clothes or shoes don’t say "Thanks! They were having a great sale at ______" or whatever" as it is rude, if they truly think it is nice. The exception to this is if you want your friend to be able to get in on the great deal too (for example, "Thanks! I got such a great deal on it too … it was reduced 75% - can you believe it? A $100 sweater for $25!").
5. Instead, try something like: "Thanks, I like them too".
6. Refrain from saying "Thanks! I paid a lot for it, it should be nice" or anything similar. I believe the reason why is quite obvious.

Tips

• Try not to think of ways to get around the topic. If they took the time to compliment you, it was definitely genuine, and should be handled as so.
• Remember that you are just as entitled to receive compliments as everyone else.
• Just say "Thank you". It’s not hard, and it’ll close the subject quickly and gracefully.

You may feel awkward at first, but gradually accepting compliments with grace will become second nature to you and you will feel better about yourself.

This is Tyler Woods saying walk in peace today.

Self-confidence is one of the most important things you can have. Self-confidence reflects your assessment of your own self-worth. It will play a large part in determining your happiness through life. Self-confidence allows you to take risks, as you have enough confidence in your own abilities to be sure that if things do go wrong, you can put things right.

In general, self-confidence is best improved by installing positive thoughts about your abilities (what you can achieve or learn to achieve): I can succeed at whatever I want, I can learn any skill, etc. As a strategy, you should look for any negative thoughts about what you can do and replace them with the opposite, positive thought.

Build self-confidence by:
* Free yourself from “should’s”.  The  “Should’s” distract us from identifying and fulfilling our own needs, abilities, interests and personal goals.  Find out what you want and what you are good at, value those, and take actions designed to fulfill your potential.

* Respect your own needs.  Recognize and take care of your own needs first!

* Talk to yourself positively.  Stop listening to your “inner critic”.

* Experience success.  Seek out and put yourself in situations in which the probability of success is high.

* Solve problems.  Don’t avoid problems, and don’t worry about them.

* Make decisions.  Practice making and implementing positive decisions and trust yourself to deal with the consequences. 

* Emphasize your strengths.  Focus on what you can do rather than what you cannot.

* Rely on your own opinion of yourself.  Everyone has an opinion but depend on your own values in making decisions.

The strategy is to reinforce positive thoughts. No matter how bad things are, you need to admit that you have succeeded at times. Find and do all you can and get your brain used to looking in a positive direction.

This is Tyler Woods with today’s tip and whatever you do today, walk in peace.

Rather than looking at ADHD as a label and give our young children harmful stimulants, maybe it’s time to start to look at our children on a more holistic level. Remember a holistic perspective is an ongoing journey of discovery in search of more answers and ultimately; living better, being healthier, and striving for wholeness.

The first thing to look at with ADHD is your child’s diet. A healer once said to me, if it doesn’t grow or swim, don’t eat it! Also if it comes in a cellophane wrapper, don’t eat it, if you can’t pronounce what is in it don’t eat it, take away 90% of all sugars and you are well on your way to a healthier child.

Other things you can do to help your child with ADHD, turn off the TV, toss out the computer games and do something with your child! See it’s your choice. You want your child to be healthy? Follow some guidelines. Will your child like it? Nope! Down the road will they thank you? YEP!

Get Attend for your child. It is a natural homoeopathic that WORKS. Parents seem to be jumping for joy with Attend and the results are not only positive, it is far safer than stimulants that are given to our children.

Want to know more….lots more. Want to know where to get attend and what other supplements work? Listen to my radio show on ADHD. Radio Show

  As a holistic mental health practitioner, I am board certified with the American Alternative Medical Association. (AAMA) It is vital that people know how important board certified practitioners are and what our primary goal is. So for today, I want to offer you some places that ensure that you are seeing a professional. Anymore in today’s world, people read a few books, and hang up a certificate, however training and certification is vital. Check to see if who you seek out is part of any of these associations. If you are a practitioner, then by all means join these associations.

Remember that it is your health. Making sure someone is certified and belongs to associations is important to your well being. It is important that we keep natural healing and health up to standards and there are associations that help promote that integrity.

American Alternative Medical Association 
American Holistic Medical Association
American Holistic Health Association
American Association of Drugless Practitioners
American Holistic Nurse Association
Association for Comprehensive Energy Psychology
The National Association for Holistic Aromatherapy

I love to talk about fear. Come we all have it, but so many people wont admit it. Sometimes fear all comes down to love and fear. Some would even say that is hormonal. Love is an expression of some sort of truth and fear is based on an irrational belief.

Fear and love can have a profound effect on our health. Oxytocin (also known as the hug hormone) helps induce emotional bonding, labor, and lactation. It can also counter the affects of cortisol. Negative effects of continued stress on the body and mind are related to elevated levels of cortisol. These include: chronic anxiety and depression, emotional over-reaction, negativity, weight gain, heart disease, high-blood pressure, and weakened immunity. Basically, when we come from a place of love rather than fear, our overall health improves and research and science can now prove it!

Fear—Cortisol

Aggression, arousal, anxiety, feeling stressed-out, activates addictions, depression, breaks down muscles, bones, and joints, depresses immune system, increases pain

clogs arteries, promotes heart disease, and high-blood pressure, obesity, diabetes, osteoporosis, decreases work production and motivation.

Love—Oxytocin

Anti-stress hormone, feeling calm and connected, increased curiosity

Lessens cravings and addictions, oxytocin appears to be a major reason as to why SSRIs ease depression, positive feelings, facilitates learning, promotes healthy social behavior, repairs, heals, and restores, faster wound healing, diminishes sense of pain,

lowers blood pressure, protects against heart disease, increases work productivity and motivation.

How we create Fear

We weave these stories we tell ourselves. Let’s say we have a story about how we will never move ahead in the world. So how do we get the story to jell?

a) We make a up storyline.
b) We gather a cast of characters.
c) We assign the cast their roles.
d) We create situations that hold us back.
e) We put our cast to work.
f) We put the voices of fear and doubt into action.
g) We turn our story into reality.
h) We tell the story.

Most stories we tell, have strong negative emotions with threads of fear woven into them. This presence stunts our growth, and helps us to remain in fear and the associated emotions and feelings.

So do yourself a favor today, keep your hormones in check, stop creating stories, and fear will walk right past you.

  Today I want to do a little something different and offer you a quick stress reliving exercise that can help you remain stress free today. I hope this gets you through any sort of stress, or just naturally relaxes you. It is important to remember that you can use this technique when ever you feel stress or just need to let go of your day.

1. Close your eyes

2. Place your thumb on your index finger As you do this, go back in your mind to a time when your body felt pleasantly exhausted. A time when you had spent the day in healthy physical pursuits and experienced that happy feeling of being healthily tired and ready to fall into a long and well-earned sleep. Recall that feeling in your body now. Recall a time in your life when that was the way you often felt. Let your body experience that feeling through the power of your mind.

Enjoy the feeling

3. Place your thumb on your middle finger

When you feel the touch of your thumb and middle finger, go back to a time in your life when you had successfully completed a large or long-term project. It could be achieving a diploma, saving up the deposit for your home, delivering a child. Try to choose something that took effort on your part and recapture that powerful feeling of personal accomplishment.

Enjoy that feeling.

4. Place your thumb on your ring finger In your mind, transport yourself to the most beautiful place you have ever been to. Immerse yourself in the surroundings by using all your senses. In your minds’ eye, see the exquisite beauty of nature before you, touch and feel the textures that surrounded you at that time. Smell any fragrances that were present and hear the sounds that surrounded you at the time.

Still relaxed, enjoy the feeling.

5. Place your thumb on your little finger

As you feel skin on skin, think about the nicest compliment that anyone has said to you. Experience the pleasure you felt in hearing those comforting and reassuring words. Accept the compliment and let it fill your body with a feeling of joy. By accepting the compliment you are also respecting the person who gave it to you.

Keep enjoying the feeling

Practice this routine on a daily basis so that it forms a habit and each of the feelings accompanying each section of the exercise come to you quickly and easily. Whenever you feel yourself beginning to "stress out" simply start up your handy relaxation technique, which is conveniently close at hand! You can also use this technique to give yourself regular "time-outs" during the day. This will assist in lowering your overall stress levels if practiced regularly.

Depression is not an anti-depressant deficiency. It is a sign of many things such as diet, health, spirituality and other roles that play a complete role as to how we feel. Well, that is at least how holistic mental health sees it.

Allopathic medicine has historically tried to reduce the healing process of depression to a series of physiological, physical, and chemical reactions that can be measured and documented by modern science. I suppose there is nothing wrong with that science has proven it to be an incomplete picture of the healing process as a whole. How do you measure spirituality, or energy or compassion?

A holistic approach to depression should include treating a person as a “whole”, rather than simply finding ways to “numb” the depressed persons feelings. The primary goal of the holistic health pyramid is to stimulate the body’s natural healing response. From this process, a genuine healing can occur therefore increasing the chances that the symptoms of depression will not return.

Pharmaceuticals drugs do not cure depression they only alleviate symptoms and are often used over the course of a lifetime to prevent recurrence of symptoms. Some people find the slower rate of recovery using holistic measures frustrating if they are accustomed to immediate results from conventional medical treatments.

Alternative methods for depression look for alternate explanations for what psychiatrists may have labeled as depression. For example, food allergies may cause severe mood swings, depression and insomnia in some people, and untreated endocrine problems, Hypothyroidism, Hyperthyroidism, Poor adrenal function, other hormonal disorders, menopause, chronic pain blood sugar.

The Holistic Pyramid was designed by Dr. Tyler Woods in 1999 and though it may require a little more time and effort however, relapse rate is far lower when depression is treated with a mind/body/spiritual approach.

Did you know that anger and resentment can cause autoimmune diseases, high-blood pressure, skin problems, bowel diseases, chronic infections, and diabetes? According to new evidence, how you emotionally feel has a profound effect on your health. Basically, research concludes that if there is an issue it is in the tissue. There are ways to balance your emotions which can lead to a healthier life.

Meditation. You hear it all the time, take a deep breath and count to ten. Meditation can allow you to take some time to breathe, relax, reflect on the situation, and take a critical look at what is happening with you. It can also slow down the metabolism of the body allowing it to heal.

Practice forgiveness. Anger often results in resentments. Resentments can be resolved through forgiveness. You do not necessarily have to forgive the person you are angry at face to face; you can forgive in any way that works for you.

Creativity. Be creative in releasing your emotions by trying some of the following exercises: Screaming in a pillow, pillow pounding, dancing, aerobics, stretching exercises, tearing up old newspapers, throwing rocks in a safe place, squeezing a ball of clay, kicking a ball or pillow, some sort of sport activity such as basketball, racquetball, soccer, or throwing a baseball.

Avoid holding onto your feelings. Learn to express yourself. Talk to a friend, family member, or counselor. Learn to talk and your health will benefit.

Try not to make assumptions. By making assumptions you are fabricating a story and then you start acting out as if that story were true. Rather than feeling rejected or hurt by what you thought someone meant it might be worth the risk to ask the person what they meant.

Learn to say NO! Sometimes if we feel others are demanding too much of our time or attention, we need to say NO. By saying no we create a healthy environment for ourselves.

This is Tyler Woods and walk in peace today.

I believe that it is so important to get the word out about holistic health and mental health. Keep in mind, 300 people die each day from side effects of their medication. There are other ways to work with some health issues without harmful or unnecessary medications. Sometimes, a holistic hcnage of lifestyle can make a big difference.

There are ways to get people to pay attention as well. We can use WebPages, blogs and thanks to new technology even radio. So today rather than blogging, I want to post the new radio show.

Holistic Mental Health and Healing

I  was recently talking to someone who strongly stated that he thought it was best to just tell people what they want to hear rather than telling the truth. “It’s just easier that way.” The other thing is to not say anything at all. “Just don’t say anything at all.” It was a new one on me that not walking in your truth is easier than being honest.

Still the question remains, should we tell people only what we feel they want to hear in order to please them and keep the peace? I suppose for me, I would like to answer the question with a question. The answer would be, how authentic do you want to be?

I think honesty and integrity is all part of walking a higher path. In the 12 step program I am in, it really emphasizes being honest, and not just honest, but rigorously honest. You have to be honest in order to get sober and then remain sober. You have to be honest in order to be in your own skin. Yet it is funny, for many people, when you are being honest, they cannot take it and need to label you, or call you names or pass rumors about you.

Fear not though and turn the other cheek. They are the people who stand in fear. I have been called names for being honest. I have been called a liar, a trouble maker, I have been called a rabble-rouser, an instigator, and a few words such as #$!*& and of course ##$%&*# all because I make choices to be honest.

Now I am not talking about being brutally honest, just a plain and simple honesty. We all may say things like hmmm that was good, when in fact, maybe it was not the greatest. I am talking about basic truths.  Many people cannot tolerate the truth. In my line of work, being honest is important. As a mental health practitioner and dealing with people’s emotions, honesty is vital. Not only is being honest vital, but is a necessary path we need to walk in order to grow.

So next time someone tells you it is best to tell people things even if it is a lie, in order to make them happy, make sure you are aware that the dishonesty you are participating in affects your biology. Not being honest and authentic wrecks havoc on the immune system, your cardio vascular system, your state of mental health, and forget spirituality because a spiritual person simply doesn’t require the need to lie.

Choose your path this New Year. Decide which path is best for you. Make a decision if you want to continue being angry, resentful and dishonest, or a decision to be more honest, spiritual and authentic. It is interesting which choices we all may take.

Happy New Years to all and remember the holistic pathway to mental health offers you choices in your healing, health and growth.