Tucson Holistic Counseling

Yesterday we talked about self-confidence. Something I have noticed with people who lack confidence or positive esteem is they are unable to take complements. A simple to thank a person for a compliment can go a long way, yet it is amazing when you consider that most of us are not very good at accepting compliments, and often answer compliments by selling ourselves short. 

"That’s a  great outfit you’re wearing!"
"Really? I think it makes me look fat."
"I love your hair today."
"Really I think it looks awful. I hate it!" 

By doing this, we give the message that the person who made the compliment is being insincere or that he doesn’t really know what he’s talking about.  Try these steps so you can feel better about taking a nice complement.

Steps

1. Do not shrink back, and act timid.
2. Thank them, possibly return a compliment.
3. If they compliment your clothes or shoes don’t say "Oh, this old thing?" as it is rude, if they truly think it is nice.
4. If they compliment your clothes or shoes don’t say "Thanks! They were having a great sale at ______" or whatever" as it is rude, if they truly think it is nice. The exception to this is if you want your friend to be able to get in on the great deal too (for example, "Thanks! I got such a great deal on it too … it was reduced 75% - can you believe it? A $100 sweater for $25!").
5. Instead, try something like: "Thanks, I like them too".
6. Refrain from saying "Thanks! I paid a lot for it, it should be nice" or anything similar. I believe the reason why is quite obvious.

Tips

• Try not to think of ways to get around the topic. If they took the time to compliment you, it was definitely genuine, and should be handled as so.
• Remember that you are just as entitled to receive compliments as everyone else.
• Just say "Thank you". It’s not hard, and it’ll close the subject quickly and gracefully.

You may feel awkward at first, but gradually accepting compliments with grace will become second nature to you and you will feel better about yourself.

This is Tyler Woods saying walk in peace today.

Self-confidence is one of the most important things you can have. Self-confidence reflects your assessment of your own self-worth. It will play a large part in determining your happiness through life. Self-confidence allows you to take risks, as you have enough confidence in your own abilities to be sure that if things do go wrong, you can put things right.

In general, self-confidence is best improved by installing positive thoughts about your abilities (what you can achieve or learn to achieve): I can succeed at whatever I want, I can learn any skill, etc. As a strategy, you should look for any negative thoughts about what you can do and replace them with the opposite, positive thought.

Build self-confidence by:
* Free yourself from “should’s”.  The  “Should’s” distract us from identifying and fulfilling our own needs, abilities, interests and personal goals.  Find out what you want and what you are good at, value those, and take actions designed to fulfill your potential.

* Respect your own needs.  Recognize and take care of your own needs first!

* Talk to yourself positively.  Stop listening to your “inner critic”.

* Experience success.  Seek out and put yourself in situations in which the probability of success is high.

* Solve problems.  Don’t avoid problems, and don’t worry about them.

* Make decisions.  Practice making and implementing positive decisions and trust yourself to deal with the consequences. 

* Emphasize your strengths.  Focus on what you can do rather than what you cannot.

* Rely on your own opinion of yourself.  Everyone has an opinion but depend on your own values in making decisions.

The strategy is to reinforce positive thoughts. No matter how bad things are, you need to admit that you have succeeded at times. Find and do all you can and get your brain used to looking in a positive direction.

This is Tyler Woods with today’s tip and whatever you do today, walk in peace.

5-HTP (compound 5-hydroxytryptophan) is a derivative of the amino acid tryptophan. A mood-enhancing chemical, it has gained a great deal of respect lately because of its ability to decrease depression. Unlike other supplements and prescribed drugs that have molecules too large to pass from the bloodstream into the brain, molecules of 5-HTP are small enough to do so. Once in the brain, they’re converted into an important nervous system chemical, or neurotransmitters called serotonin.

5-HTP is the intermediate metabolite of the essential amino acid L-tryptophan which was taken off the market in 1989 because 27 people died from it (over 250,000 people die each year from prescribed pharmaceuticals). Unlike tryptophan, 5-HTP cannot be converted to kynurenine; so it can easily cross the blood brain barrier. While only three percent of an oral dose of tryptophan is converted to serotonin, over seventy percent of an oral dose of 5- HTP is converted to serotonin. Today, 5-hydroxytrptophan is considered a safer and more effective treatment for these conditions. In addition it is much cheaper than L-tryptophan.
5-HTP causes an increase in levels of endorphin and other neurotransmitters that are often decreased in cases of depression. 5-HTP also increases serotonin levels. Thus, it is much more effective for depression. In fact, numerous studies have shown that 5- HTP has equal effectiveness compared to drugs like Prozac, Paxil, and Zoloft (SSRIs) and tricyclic antidepressant drugs like imipramine and desipramine in terms of effectiveness, therefore tryptophan and especially 5-HTP, should not be used by anyone taking any of these drugs or not to be used with Saint John’s Wort. 5-HTP may also be helpful in some cases of compulsive carbohydrate overeating, alcohol addiction and compulsive gambling (specific forms of OCD), as well as for insomnia. Reported side effects include nausea, vomiting, and difficulty breathing. High doses of 5-HTP can cause agitation, fast heart rate, a boost in blood pressure.
Numerous clinical trials have studied the efficacy of 5-HTP for treating depression. One compared 5-HTP to the antidepressant drug fluvoxamine and found 5-HTP to be equally effective. Researchers used the Hamilton Depression Rating Scale and a self-assessment scale to gauge the effectiveness of the two medications. Both scales revealed a gradual reduction in depressive symptoms through time with both medications. Perhaps the most convincing evidence, however, comes from scientists who examined research from around the world on the use of 5-HTP in treating depression. One such researcher, writing in Neuropsychobiology, sums up the findings this way: "Of the 17 reviewed studies, 13 confirm that 5-HTP has true antidepressant properties." (David Wolfson, N.D.)
The effective dose of 5-HTP appears to be between 50 and 500 mg daily.3 Used in combination with other antidepressant substances, however, the effective dose may be even lower. Research shows that some people respond better to lower doses, so I recommend beginning at the low end of the dose range and increasing as necessary. Side effects associated with therapeutic doses of 5-HTP are rare.